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A Step Past Self Improvement

I was diagnosed with breast cancer back in Aril 2007; almost nine years ago. In the beginning all my energy was concentrated on organizing surgery, getting medical advice and learning about my new status in life. With events happening so quickly, and decisions that have to be made without the luxury of taking your time, I had a one track mind and tunnel vision. It was a real fight for survival.
The first few months after surgery were similar. Complications, lab results, being informed that there would be more surgery to come, and decisions about chemotherapy all cloud the mind with insistence and stress, and force you to concentrate with the moment and immediate future. There's no time to worry about the past or the future.
And then something happens. You suddenly have some breathing room and can catch your breath. Your mind starts to wander; asking that question you almost screamed in the beginning.....“Why me?!?!”...but looking at it more profoundly. There is no answer at this phase; although there are many suspicions, and if you have the least bit of intuition, you are probably able to as least partially answer your burning question.
Life will coast for awhile after this, and the pent up stress of the year of cancer treatments will take its toll. Fatigue settles in and forces you to rest and let your body recover. But if you're like me, more and more questions are asked and the mind increasingly wanders. At this time I took the opportunity to buy self help books, books of inspiration, and wellness books. Yes! The wellness community had started to pick up steam and was becoming more strong and vibrant. I had books on wellness, books on healthy eating and nutrition, books of affirmation and inspiration....and yes, I even authored an inspirational chapter about my cancer story in a collection by British journalist, Chris Geiger.
Don't get me wrong. All these books, and blogs are extremely helpful. They lift you up when you are at the lowest of your lows. They inspire you to get out of bed and put your clothes on; even when you are so weak, you don't even know you'll be able to stand up. They make you cry and blow off steam, and bring the light and positivity back into your life. They inform you that your lifestyle could have caused your cancer. Cancer was brought on by the food choices you made, or the alcohol you drank, the bad marriages you are in or the troubled childhood you had.
They also make you think.....and think.....and think. I believe I started thinking so much, he hole was getting deeper and deeper, and I was fast approaching wonderland. Sometimes you just have to get out of your head.
And this is the point of this blog. Although all the conclusions certain experts and bloggers come to are accurate and properly encourage you to understand your inner workings, and there are many people out there that are able to teach you, and inspire you to become a better runner or learn how to meditate, you need to take that step, and stop lingering in that cozy cocoon. That step out of your mind. That step to action.
It may be a scary prospect, but the answer is out there, and you can realign yourself towards better life choices.


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